Chasing the sun pt 1.

Wed. October 3rd.

Trailing the Wisconsin rails, I finally see Autumn in full effect. Racing yellows, reds, orange, fading greens and blue sky highlight my eyes as music has never sounded so sweet. I watch softly as I dream, as I read, as I imagine I create. What a world. This is beautiful. The sun is fading and the lighting is so perfect. Black birds swim in the air to make the scenery that much more perfect. I am ok with this, I am perfectly fine. Something very right at the moment. Could it be my exist from the overwhelming east coast experience, the rough and buff cities. An exit, a chance to start a new? Only a two weeks left and I am off. I am off to see another land, distant from the east. Same language of course, but I predict a different energy, a new vibe.
God I can not get over these colors, like a matador coming straight for my heart. It has be falling flat on the floor and wishing I could share it with someone. Fuck that, I know this is my moment to be with god. To know beauty, to get high and to be still and excited with travel. Surely someone knows what I mean, and if not it is all the more reason to spill my overflowing guts with as many folks as I can. This passion is so special, I just know it. I wonder how I would exist without it? If everything else stayed the same but my passion died....... numb, I would be numb. Sometime I am numb with passion. I am working on disecting this issue so I can come unravelled and fall in love with myself over and over and over again without needing someone to share it with.
The silhouette of an abandoned amusement park. Like a time of dreams and silly life rides fading into darkness as memories of a place are now an illusion to those who have moved on. A ghost of a the past, a place you can no longer visit. And now another brief memory for me to stick into words that I may or may not ever read again. Still, it is for you, it has always been for you. Without you for me to share, I am as lost as a golden turtle in a rainless desert.....
Oh my, these dark strawberry colored trees are melting me. Simply outstanding. This is the closest to nature I have been in some time, and I can tell I need it. Hopefully I will get to spend some time outside of Portland frolicking with the fairies and dry leaves. Hopefully I will not get caught up in writing on my typewriter and falling in love with strangers, and instead go fall in love with nature. Again and again.

The train is chasing the sun. Speeding west, trying to hold onto daylight for as long as we can. This extended sunset gives lights to small communities and rather large farms. I wonder if they have grown accustomed to such beautiful evenings where falling suns give way to harvest rainbows. I hope not. I will choose to think that they continue to live this way for these impeccable evenings, rather then doing it because it is all they know. I do not ever want to find myself doing something because it is all that I know to do. However, I suppose my decade in the restaurant industry would suggest that is what I know.... career wise anyways. Something more is heading to my door. Bigger, I dream bigger. I know it to be true, it has to be. It feel right. I worry sometimes that if I think about it so much that I will dissolve the possibility of it happening. As if my manifestation curses me. Weird, I know. Still I just believe that rarely do dreams come true exactly how you see them coming true in your head. No reason to be discouraged, but more reason to just work hard and fantasize less.
It is starting to get dark now, I think I will drink some water and make an almond butter jelly sandwich. I attribute my favorite traveling meal to a certain untouchable women whom came into my life, and stayed in my life, and my heart. Ms. Joy, if you are reading this, I hope you know my dreams have gotten bigger ever sense you took the time to love me and believe in me. Thank you, now time for ABJ ;)