Eyes West. Eyes closing.

It never gets old when you constantly are on the move.
Sure stability has its place, but I am embarking on a serious quest.
I can not take any prisoners when I am on the move.
Still have never given my heart so much in such a small period of time.
This is exhausting. This is spreading me thin. And this is making me strong.
How dare I compare myself to anyone ever again.
Was it once a ego based survival technique?
Looking down on someone
Looking up to someone
For the things they do not get
For the things I do not have
It serves no good purpose. I have to remember, I need to never forget..... Everyone has a story. Even if it lays softly compared to earth shattering lives, it is still a story.
Too think anyone walks through this life without at one point or another having a heavy heart is beyond me. How sad of a life that must be, to never carry weight, to never know what it means to survive, to hold on, and then to finally let go. Those poor souls.....

You have to be strong to be sensitive.
I am strong.
I am soft
I love, I do... I am in love, I am scared
I still disapprove with some of my choices, they are however my choices and my mistakes to make.

I am tired, this trip takes a lot out of me. I miss nature, I can feel meditation coming into my life again. I know how to ground myself a little better.... and I am tired.


Leaving New York today. Heading to Chicago to see my badass friend T, take a night to rest in a bed, to write, and to gather myself for a 46 hour train ride to Portland. This second stent here in New York has rocked my world. I have so much to reflect on, but I must first rest and gather myself before I can put it out there. Simple notes were that I walked a ton, I wrote over 400 original poems in 6 days giving most of them away. I made connections with Huffington Post. I partied a few nights with old friends. I ate mushrooms and watched the moon rise and change colors from a rooftop in Brooklyn. I talked about my mother. I made a believer out of a lost dreamer, I cried to myself about how intense abandonment is. I must rest now. I will be back for more later.