French Connection.

Another missed train.
Hipster corners in Montreal. They call it a cafe....  I call it appropriate.
Stars in her eyes, yes I have spent the last 3 days with a French Canadian beauty. Yes, it was amazing.
This could be a dream. She cries when she hears a violin, she has since she was a young child.

I still stress what is next, knowing that I should realize by now I will be okay.... still I stress.
Fame is not the goal, though it is a minor dream. Fame comes with wanting to share your story and soul with the whole world. I want my soul to be famous.
I will write love songs, and sad songs and you will never know the difference..... You can not control love, love happens, love is happening.
I have been in Montreal now for 5 days, I will not miss my third train tomorrow.
I spent last night celebrating my french beauties birthday. We ended up on the 8th floor rooftop loft of her friend who is a straight burning man G. Sound engineer, film director, 8mm, badass. I got to catch a glimpse of the city scape and watched myself fall in love again with travel, and the possibility of always venturing to new experiences... it is the way, it is my way. Love.

I took a 3 hour nap in a park, the ants were vicious but I did not mind. I listened as a fountain played white noise and called on the wind to fit my poetic mood. I napped for 3 hours as lingering conversations passed though my state of half asleep naps.

I saw an ex lover the other night, we danced. She is more beautiful then ever, I wanted to tell her but she has a boyfriend. Her eyes however suggested she was also happy to see me, and that she remembered how special it was. She was my first kinda girlfriend, and the best dancer I have ever dated. What a fairy.

The only thing I am addicted to is fairy blood.

I stayed two nights in a hotel with my French Beauty, paid for by her. She had just ended a long relationship and was couch crashing at friends.... we opted for hotels and privacy.... she took such good care of me. She even bought me a new pair of suspenders. Ahhh.... do I deserve such treatment? She certainly thought so.

I ran through the downtown of Montreal, it was a downtown. Some great architecture, still a downtown.

Montreal is first city I have been to out of the Untied States. It is absolutely French dominated, and they intend to keep it that way and push more so. I often was intimidated by my American status, however after a few social events where I got to show my dancefloor charm, I felt confident that any mild judgement on me would be lost in how freaking cool I am when I dance..... yes arrogant, but I needed that to push towards confidence of myself.

Life is swell, I can not wait to take on New York again. Time is running short and I am still struggling with waking to a new day with a grabbing how exciting life is right of the back. My body hurts from all my walking and awkward train sleeping. I need to pace myself early, stretch, breath, drink water and move slow. I know my pace will pick up, but I am groggy first thing.... it has been like this since I lost my mother 16 years ago. I am still stuck believing my frantic dream state is easier then what my waking life will hold for me that day.

And so it goes....
Overly passionate is not the right term, but I am almost insanely passionate... it makes me tired. I am overwhelmed always with all of this beauty and my desire to share it with everyone I can. One day at a time Ryan, one foot in front of the other. Work hard, please work hard. Say your blessings, you are blessed... we are blessed. Continue to share, inspire, believe, and know you are doing well. Head up, heart strong..... so it is, the life of a dreamers. I dream big.

Montreal, my dear.